Watching Bo Burnham’s special (Inside) reminded me that, back when I was worrying about getting stuck in the comedy pigeonhole, I wrote a song which addresses the issue of a “comedian” trying to do work that doesn’t have laughter as its only currency. So I did a little home record for yez.-Tim Minchin
Beauty is a harlot
She will dance with any bastard
She's undiscerning in her choice of partners
I could have her of course if I wish
But I object to her promiscuousness
Beauty just doesn't suit me
For beauty is a harlot
An easy lay for lazy artists
I won't be fooled by her vulgar charm
It is the easiest trick in the book
Music's the worm and beauty's the hook
And I know you would swallow her whole
But I'm not here to pander to souls
For beauty is a siren
Trying to draw me from my chosen mission
I won't be tempted by her seductive singing
On principle I refuse to be party to her abuse
It is not my job to squat in the gutter
Sharing the teat with you beauty drunk suckers
You paid to see satire and rage
I swear I won't let beauty set foot on this stage
For beauty is a siren
A spotlight hungry superficial harlot
She will toy with your defenceless heart and leave you
Tear streaked when the lights come on
You look around to find her gone
And despite your sighs you've not a clue
That as you fell for her, she stole from you
For beauty is a harlot
She will lie with any two bit artist
And for all those other bastards
She seems to come so easily
But she comes too hard for me
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